yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
