ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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