Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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