So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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