You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
