Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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