i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
