are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
