i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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