I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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