We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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