take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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