normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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