Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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