All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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