Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
