I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
