She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
