I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
