Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
