Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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