you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
