Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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