I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
