Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
