once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
