Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
