you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
