maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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