i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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