I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
