it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
