We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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