mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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