pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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