Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
