i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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