im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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