So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
