I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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