She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
