The police scanner is talking about you again....
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
