I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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