I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
