I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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