I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have feelings that need drinking.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
