I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Someone shit on the floor
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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