problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
