how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
