oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
