It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
