I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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